Monthly Archives: November 2011

Today is Your Tomorrow and Yesterday is Never Again

Jackson,

My dear son… If you are on schedule you will be here in 100 days! If you hold true to form you are going to be a feisty little boy with an attitude!

Jack…. you are going to have so many wonderful experiences in your life that are going to create a wonderful memories! I have so many memories to share with you from my life… and it will start the day that you come into this world. I remember so many wonderful days in my life… March 22, 2000 in Panama City, FL was when I first accepted Jesus into my heart… August 22, 2001 in Glendale, AZ was the day I was baptized… June 2002- graduating from Ohio State… September 11, 2008- the first date with your mommy… and June 12, 2010 was the day I married the most wonderful woman in the world! You will be the next great memory of my life!

Memories can be both wonderful and a curse. For me they have been a bit of both throughout my life, and I want to impart a bit of wisdom on you so that you can avoid the curse 🙂 As great as memories are, they can also be like swimming with anchors tied around your feet.

Until a couple of months ago I spent my free thoughts overwhelming myself with “what if I would have done this one thing different in my life”. I remember back in 8th grade basketball try outs when I just quit because there were some guys that gave me a hard time. Or when I walked off the baseball field in the 7th grade when there was one boy on the team that made fun of me. I would think back to school projects and organizations that I quit on or didn’t try. I remember specific interactions with people who needed me and I let them down. I remember the girl in 2nd grade that broke my heart because she moved… and I remember losing close friends because I chose people that were bad for my life.

I would get lost in thought for hours at a time… instead of hitting the gym or picking up my Operations book… I thought and recalled memories. In the past month I have written apology e-mails to people I wasn’t always nice to that were there for me… prayed repentence for poor choices I have made….

A few months ago I decided that I wasn’t going to be a victim and handcuffed by my obsession with past memories. It’s a big pile of shit to dig out of… but I am digging. I share this with you because I do not want you to be someone that dwells on the past… because as I have experienced it can and will become an addiction.

The “I would have done that differently”… turns into a negative self view… you quickly identify your weaknesses… become timid and doubtful in your decision making (because you don’t want to make the same mistake again)..and these things are not a good feeling.

The one thing that I have learned is that memories are just a small piece of who you are and they DO NOT define you! There is no reason to look back and be stuck in thought… wondering how life would have turned out if you made different decisions. After all… the slightest change in my decision making process would have led me down a different path… that didn’t lead to your mommy, you, and future siblings.

Take my advice son… do not bond yourself to memories… they are anchors on your heart and mind. The release I feel by not getting lost in my past memories is amazing… and I want you to have an amazing life… never being bonded by these things!

I toast my Diet Cranberry Sierra Mist to you my son and to all the GOOD memories we are about to have!

Love Dad

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